This morning i woke up

and i decided to take my vape to school, i hopped on the bus and i did a big mistake,

i kept the vape in my hoodie's pocket visible to everyone, and i was asleep

2 snitches took a pic of it and sent it to a higher rank teacher.

After i arrive i went to my class (as ussual) chilling with my friends and then the teacher told me to go to her office with my backpack.

I went there nervous and she told me to empty my pockets and bag.

I took it out and felt really ashamed of myself

"I'm a dumbass, i'm stupid, i'm an idiot for bringing a vape with a broken pod to school" and started sobbing a lil' bit.

After the day went by as ussual, i found out who might be the snitch, and might "reeducate" them.

After school and bus ride to my endpoint i hopped in my mom's car and drove home.

She noticed something is not quite normal, i was quiet and blue looking, i told her what happened and about the vape incident, i told her i am an idiot, a dumbass, a stupid person, etc. etc..

After bringing the groceries to the house i went in my room and stayed there for the rest of the day, hitting myself with my belt as discipline, cried a lil' bit more, fell asleep while watching something on youtube, woke up at 20:00 something, can't remember it really, now i can't fall asleep because i took a nap. Now i kinda hit myself more with the belt and maybe planning to hit myself with a baseball bat or start cutting idk, like

who am i other than an idiot, i felt smart but now i feel like an idiot for keeping a half broken vape in my hoodie pocket

i think i need help