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Is there a good challenge i could try so i can get back to drawing?

I'M HAVNING AN EPISODE WHERE I SAY RANDOM SHIT AND COMPLETELY RUIN MY MENTAL HEALTH BY 30%

I fucking hate painting, eh whats the point anyways, my dad once told me "No tevis īsti nesanāks gleznotājs"

(You're not really going to make it as a painter.), so whats the point of trying? I've forgotten most stuff on painting

Cut myself and put acrylic paint in my wounds and hitting my head, those are the thoughts in my head right now

I have no idea if i'm posting this acrylic painting on NG, its a school project but eh, whatevs lol.

(I HAVEN'T FINISHED IT THO, HAHA!!!!)

Feeling better, now imma try to write

I don't want to think about hurting/killing myself on mondays anymore, i'm sick of this shit

i feel like hitting my desk

I SOMETIMES FUCKING HATE MYSELF AND SOMETIMES EVERYTHING

I wanna detox from NG for a while

I didn't felt like eating, i went to the fridge, opened it, got tears in my eyes and closed the door. I drank some water and went back to my shitty room.

Attempt number 2, i went to the fridge again, grabbed some food, ate the food.

I didn't feel like eating, i didn't wanted to eat, but i ate, and i felt a lil bit better.